This week's words are (translation, crunchy, cat’s paw, trunk, I love raspberry tarts, global warming, star struck, the midnight ride of Paul Revere, fragile, spring fever) with a mini challenge of (pancakes and syrup, flat tire, mongoose, this place looks like a bordello, first dance).
And before you read this, no, I'm not actually this much of a cynic but I got the idea for redefining "Rasberry Tart" and it ran away with me.
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Yeah, I know what you're thinking, buddy. We all do. "I love Rasberry Tarts" is what you're thinking. Translation: Redheaded barbies with skirts up to *there* who say they concerned with global warming but really only care about spring fever, finals and getting all star struck. On the other hand, I can't exactly expect you to be all that noble and interesting and everything. I mean, what did I honestly expect from another internet dating site? "The midnight ride of Paul Revere" kind of guy or something? I should have known better. The guys out there seem to be one of two kinds: "end the night in their trunk" creepy or so nasty you'd rather lick a cat's paw right after it climbed out of the sand box (and you KNOW where that's been) than so much as shake their hand.
Still, I suppose it's a little better than the bar scene. There you walk in and your first thought is "this place looks like a bordello" because, seriously, could they be wearing any less? And then there's the classic guy who comes up to you and says something like "I bet you're the kind of girl who likes pancakes and syrup. You know, for breakfast tomorrow morning?" all the while leering at me from a face shaped like a mongoose. *Shudder* My reply is generally something like "Yeah, you're not even getting a first dance, my friend, much less a good night or morning anything." That tends to take the hot air out of them like a flat tire.
Ah, well. I'm still an optimist and I can't help but hope that there's a guy with substance somewhere out there. Something a little more crunchy than this bland soup of a dating pool. I'm not fragile and I think I'll hold out for a while. But thanks for the invite all the same.
Very clever, different and entertaining.
ReplyDeleteVery well done! Such clever use of the words and it all flowed so naturally! Excellent wordzzling.
ReplyDeleteI see you've been to a single's bar before. It's been so long for me that I had forgotten how bad it could be. Great story and good execution.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely outstanding writing!! I loved how you used this -
ReplyDelete"I love Rasberry Tarts" is what you're thinking. Translation: Redheaded barbies with skirts up to *there*Excellent!
Great story but not cynical just realistic.
ReplyDeleteha! I love it. I never would have thought to use the words that way. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDelete/that was a clever use of the words.
ReplyDeleteI was laughing so hard, here is the problem with that, and it makes it even more funny! I am giving the SAT test in a very quiet room, and had to laugh in more of a nose exhale while hiding it under my sweater... thank you for the giggle and the gigggle about the giggle - ok, you get it.
ReplyDeleteI could not have even come close to that much creative wonder with those words!
thank you for following along with your son on the Trans Atlantic Learning Adventure btw - glad you can join the fun
fantastic! after years of the single life I was laughing and nodding my head in agreement as I read along.
ReplyDeleteFresh take on the words. I loved how you interpreted a love for raspberry tarts and ran with it.
ReplyDeleteWell that was different. Too many words about food. Made all of the dragons hungry.
ReplyDeleteWe aren't allowed to eat human tarts. But we can have pancakes and syrup.
well done. The blog entry not the pancakes.
Very clever and well-written.
ReplyDelete