Thanks, Facebook, for the Laugh

Well, the office is not quite ready to show you so, until it is, here is a slightly amusing story to tide you over.

As many of you use Facebook I'm sure you're aware that they are constantly breaking everything tweaking their site. In this latest revision our posts and comments are visible to friends of friends even more than ever before and this can have some amusing consequences. Husband was recently commenting with a friend about a new video game they are both enjoying (as are several million others according to the record breaking sales numbers) and he got some fun hatemail in his Facebook inbox this morning. He decided to not respond and encourage the random internet person but I thought it would be more fun to yank his (her?) chain.

The Facebook message Husband recieved looked like this (some minor language):

you have a kids and your playing games? are you fucken kidding me? put the toys away little boy and take your kid to the park or spend some time with it. .i swear people are sick in the head these days . .

My kids are all well loved and played with and we make it a point to spend individual time with each of them. But this random person apparently decided that you can't enjoy a game and love your children at the same time and sent the missive above. Husband ignored it but I thought he should have responded with the following just for a laugh (please keep in mind that I am the last person to be the grammar police and I was only doing it to be a smart-ass in this case. I'm sure there are lots of grammar problems with many of my posts and I have no high horses about it):

Well, actually, I spend a lot of time with my kids and play computer games mostly after they are asleep in bed. In case you are thinking this means I ignore my wife, please be assured that she is playing right next to me and we do not lack for quality time together. However, before you decide to attack random people for random things on Facebook perhaps you should look to yourself. I can only imagine, since you are so passionate about the subject, that your parents spent a lot of time with you. It’s a shame they couldn’t teach you to write coherent sentences during that time. In lieu of your parents teaching you basic common sense and grammar, please allow me to help you out.

Sentences start with capital letters. It’s “You”, not “you”. Next, if you are using the word “kids” instead of “kid” then you can omit the “a” as it is unnecessary and doesn’t make much sense. Simply say “You have kids and…”. Also, “your” is possessive meaning something belongs to me. The correct usage you were looking for is “you are” or “you’re”, not “your”. Again, capital letters are most helpful in denoting the beginning of a sentence and you may want to consider using them as in “Are” instead of “are”. I assume you are aware, as of course your intelligent discourse suggests, that the word would be “fucking”, not “fucken” unless you actually meant, perhaps, a strange cross breed of a frog, duck, and chicken, in which case I can see how that makes sense in the same way that the new holiday dinner bird is called a turducken (turkey, duck, and chicken). However, since that would also not make any sense in that sentence I can only assume that your sentence enhancer was misspelled. Technically, a computer game is not considered a toy and is an entirely different sales market and you may simply want to say “game” (and you forgot another capital letter). I can assure you that I am not that little and am, in fact, over 6 feet tall so you may want to come up with a more thoughtful and intelligent insult. Also, you forgot to use commas, which is the correct way to address someone in a sentence (“Put the games away, little boy, and…”). My kids love the park and I believe it would be accurate to assume that I have been there more recently than you as no one with your particularly cranky demeanor could possibly have seen the sun in some time (are you related to Golem, by chance?). Really, the word “or” doesn’t seem correct in the next sentence, as you are suggesting that I do both, in which case you should say “and”, especially since going to the park IS spending time so it can’t be an “or” as I would, by the very definition, be doing both at once which would also make it an “and”. After you remove the gratuitous period in the next sentence, capitalize the “I” and then add a comma after swear (“I swear, people…”) and you’ll be just about done. In order to save you time I have corrected your oversights (notice the correct usage of the word “your” in this sentence for reference) for you and you may use the sentence below.

You have kids and you’re playing games!? Are you fucking kidding me? Put the games away, Random Name Call, and take your kids to the park again and spend some more time with them when they are supposed to be sleeping. I swear, people are as sick in the head as me these days.

No thanks necessary,
Your new Facebook friend

Fantasies in Chocolate Gala

I do not have a project to post today as we went out on the town instead of creating this weekend. I went to the Fantasies in Chocolate gala with Husband and several of our neighbors. It was my first time there and it's definitely going to be repeated. Great friends, dinner, wine, chocolate everywhere, and dancing. It was really lovely. My friend Zoe took the above picture and, since I didn't take my camera with me, I'll have to ask a couple other friends if I can share a few other shots with you because the place really looked amazing! I hope you had a great weekend too and I'll tomorrow I'll post the winner for Saturday's giveaway!

Turning Stones is now on Facebook

Turning Stones is now on Facebook!

Want to know what is going on in between the posts? Are you interested in seeing sneak peeks of upcoming projects? I realized that a lot of my personal Facebook posts are related to my blog and it seemed like the right time to graduate my blog to its very own page. So come join in the fun and see what we're doing!

The Worst Trip I Ever Took

What was your worst trip EVER?

For some reason this story popped into my head today and now, many years later, I can see how it's a little funny. A little. Do you have a trip like that? So bad at the time but later you can start to at least laugh about how bad?

I was living in Oregon and we made a trip to see extended family in Boise (about a 9 hour drive). I was pregnant and cranky and really would have rathered be home. My car had a loose belt and squealed something awful (we had tried the soap trick to shut it up but it never worked very well). I had tried to tighten it myself but it's really a 3-man job in that car and the shop wanted $150 just to do that and nothing else. They told me the worst that was going to happen if I left it the way it was is that it would sound bad. And it did. But sounds bad was cheaper so sounds bad it did.

On the way to Boise a deer hit my car (no, not the other way around). We had slowed down when we saw a few deer crossing the road and even stopped for them. When the one deer made no motions to cross the road to join his buddies we started driving slowly only for it to freak out and run into the front passenger side of my car. Since we were moving, the passenger mirror hit the deer in the head and gave it a good brain duster and left a LOT of deer hair all over the side of the car. We did stop, but the deer ran off and we just had to hope it was okay and continue on. About an hour later we realized it had popped the mirror off the holder but we decided not to go back for it. We figured we wouldn't be able to find the right spot in the dark anyway (it's a *really* long straight stretch and any guess as to the exact spot could be off by miles anyway). Down one mirror.

While we were there the car broke down and we had to take it to a shop whose owner turned out to be a liar and a ripoff artist who charged us hundreds more than he said he would for the job, money we couldn't afford. Unfortunately, we were a long way from home and really had no options but to pay the man so we could get our keys and go home after what was already an exhausting trip. Down a couple hundred $$$.

We got on the road and breathed a sigh of relief, happy to finally be headed home. On the way out of town I was going a little fast (about 80) and a deer jumped in front of my car (a theme?). Anyway, I stomped the brakes and we stopped just fine. Whew! We got going again and about a little while later the landscape opens up. The only thing to either side of the car for MILES is low grass and nothing else. You can see everything. So, I wasn't really worried about deer because you could see them coming in that area. So instead of the deer, the State Patrol got me. He said I really needed to keep it under 70 in case a deer jumped out in front of my car. I figured I probably shouldn't press my luck and tell him that I had stopped for the last one just fine when I was going faster and that the one that did hit me did it anyway when I was only going 15, so speed probably wasn't much of a factor. Anyway, I got a ticket. Down a couple hundred more $$$.

Then the storm clouds rolled in. What was a clear and dry road quickly turned to snow and ice and we crawled through it. That is until about 5 miles outside of Burns where we ran out of gas... In a construction zone... On a one-lane bridge... In a couple feet of snow in the dark. Did I mention it had gotten dark and was still snowing? Sigh... So my husband and his friend (wearing a thigh-high leg brace) got out and pushed us off the bridge and sort of off to the side (as much as the snow would allow) so that traffic, if it came by, wouldn't hit us.

At this point I should mention who was in the car. Me, pregnant. Husband, has developed a bad case of the flu on this trip. Husband's friend, wearing a thigh high leg brace. Husband's friend's girlfriend, whose English still needs practice and probably weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet. And one of us is going to need to go get gas because this was before any of us owned cell phones and not a soul was driving by. So husband decided he was going to have to do it since clearly the rest of us wouldn't do well at it and he left. Since we were still partly blocking the road he had us leave the headlights on so we wouldn't be a surprise in the dark if a car did happen to come along.

The nearest gas station was 2 miles ahead but had closed due to the late hour and he ended up having to go about 5 miles to get to the next gas station. The police passed him *3* times and, despite him trying to flag them down, did not stop to help. When he finally got to the gas station I almost couldn't believe him when he told me what he saw. The police car was parked in front of the gas station and they were sitting at a table inside having coffee and... eating donuts. OMG, the stereotype of all stereotypes. He thought about saying something but figured that instead of a ride back to the car he might get arrested if he opened his mouth so he got the gas and came on back. Probably not much of a surprise, his flu later turned into pneumonia.

So he gets back to the car and puts the gas in. We all get back in the car and get ready to go and... the car won't start. The lights had now been on for a couple hours with no charging and the battery had died. At this point we figured we should probably go wake a farmer up and ask for help. The one bright spot to this entire trip was a farmer who not only got out of bed very late one night to give us a jump but told us we should have asked him for the gas as would have given that to us as well. Thank you random farmer for being so kind to us that night.

Luckily, that ended the bad luck for that trip for the most part and we then made the last 5 or 6 hours without incident. How about you? What was the worst trip you ever had? Can you laugh about it now?

The marriage penalty

Okay, I'm going to bring up the subject of money because, quite frankly, American tax laws suck. Somehow it feels like a very touchy thing to talk about on a blog but I'm so frustrated with our system and I really have to idea what to do about it.

We now have W2s in hand and have begun the process of figuring out how much money is Uncle Sams and how much is ours. Along the way it occured to us to wonder about the "marriage penalty" seeing as we are planning on getting married this year. So, just for idle curiosity, I did a "what if we were married" and we calculated the taxes. And, WOW. Assuming that our incomes don't change we could expect to be penalized a LOT of money for being married, and we're talking thousands of dollars. Part of that is a change in tax brackets and part of that is the losses of several deductions. It would turn our refunds into a gigantic neon sign saying "money owed". I could cry right now.

Of course, that leaves us with the question of "now what?" That "extra money" isn't really extra and not having it would wipe us out. I suppose technically nothing says we have to be married since we aren't planning on having more kids and we have our own insurance policies through work. But not get married? I don't want to give that up.

Our state recognizes domestic partnerships and they do apply to hetero couples as well so maybe that's worth looking into so we could continue to file single (they aren't recognized at a federal level and therefore not by the IRS either). Because, among other things, if we weren't married we would have no legal right to make medical decisions or even be in the emergency room if something happened to the other person. But, in a DP we would have those rights. I'm wondering what the legal ramifications are exactly? Can we enter a domestic partnership and have my last name changed? Is that legal? Or should we just have a not-legally-binding commitment ceremony and draw up papers with a lawyer to cover the medical decision choices and whatnot? This is supposed to be simple. Why can't it be simple?

Anyone have an idea? What would you do in that kind of situation?

Christmas on Valentine's Day?

Okay, well, my family is unconventional. But we all knew that, yes? Due to conflicts in timing this year (the downside of a very large family) it looks like I will be having Christmas with the kids and Eric's family on Christmas day and then Christmas with my sisters and everyone else on Valentine's day. My little sister jokingly combined the names into Valentristmas (though maybe Valentmas is easier to say?). Anyway, so if we do that then I think I need to put up a tree for this but decorate it for Valentine's instead of Christmas and put a big heart on the top of the tree. What do you think?

Here are a couple trees and an ornament I found online for ideas. I think it could work.





Pictures from here, here and here.

Quack! Quack!

Normally I am not a sports fan. I am, however, an Oregon Ducks fan. Today is the Civil War game with Oregon State Losers Beavers and which ever team wins gets the Rose Bowl. Go Ducks!

To give you some family history, one of my brother-in-laws was the Oregon Duck. Yup, my sister married the duck. Another sister married a Beaver's fan traitor so we get some pretty good rivalry as evidenced above. It'll be a good game.

What it all means (or the title anyway)

This morning I was reading Beth over on Be Yourself...Everyone Else is Taken and she is talking about the meaning of her blog title along with many people over at Synch-ro-ni-zing. It occurs to me that I've never really explained my blog, either the URL or the title, so this seems like the perfect opportunity.

indigoamethyst came first. This has been my handle for some time starting with MySpace (yes, I have one of those) and then here and also on Facebook and Twitter. The amethyst is my birthstone but I'm not very fond of the very pale watery amethyst. I am in love, though, with the really deep amethyst. Indigo is a very deep shade for an amethyst and my favorite. And although it doesn't always come out in my blog there are deep facets to me too (somewhere), much like an amethyst which is reflective and doesn't always show the hidden depths, or at least I like to think so.

Turning Stones came later. I love stones and rocks and, much like the ocean, feel a pull towards them. I have a few jars throughout the house of rocks in all types. Part of the reason is just the tie to earthy nature. I think of rocks and immediately have the feeling of hiking along a trail and looking out at a view and my heart is so full in an instant that I could burst. To someone who has never felt this it's hard to explain but only really beautiful nature (a stretched out valley, a wide ocean) and my children evoke this response in me. In that moment I could scream with joy and burst into tears at the same time. I want to spin in a circle with my hands stretched to the blue sky and laugh or take off running down a hill. Maybe this means I'm a little nuts (shocker, right?) but I am immensely joyful and immensely sad in the same moment. I LOVE that feeling.

Turning Stones is also about self discovery. As a child I played outside in the forest a lot and I quickly discovered that there is always something under every rock. And it's never the same. Oh, it may look very similar, but it's not the same. And by turning over the stones you get to see a whole world that you've previously missed noticing. I have now been divorced for about a year and a half. And in that time I have been continuously turning over the stones and finding parts of me that I had lost in the last 10 years or had never discovered in the first place. I've always been pretty sure of myself but I'm learning so much more every day. I learn about me as a person, as a mom, as a partner, a daughter, a friend.

My blog is a bit of a mishmash of personal stories, children, crafts and how to make them, decorating, and childhood memories and the photos I've taken along the way but I think the big picture is that it's me. I'm a mishmash of all of these things and then some and to be true to me this blog is as well. Turning Stones is my reminder to never stop looking outward at all of the beauty in this world, to never stop looking behind the ugly bits of it to find the treasures underneath, and to never stop looking inside of me and discovering there too.

What stones have you turned over recently? I'd love to hear about it.

Made my morning!

I was over at GreyStreetGirl's site this morning and she pointed out one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. They have actually translated most of the bible into lolcat speak over at lolcatbible.com. Oh, and I want this shirt!

Here is an excerpt from Genesis 1:

Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

Why are you still here? Go check it out!

What if your name wasn't your name?

With the passing of my last grandparent recently I've had grandparents on my mind a lot. This man here was my mother's father, Louie Glen. Grandpa was a farmer in Oregon and my mother was raised on that farm. We all spent a lot of time there and one thing we learned is that there is nothing like a potato soup when the potatoes and everything else is fresh picked. Yum. We also learned to look at the back of the lettuce leaf and not just the front when checking for slugs. I think my little sister may still have a little slug stuck in her teeth...

When Grandpa was born his own grandfather had wanted him to be named George Washington since he already had a family tree named after this countries fore fathers (Thomas Jefferson, etc) and also because this baby was born on Independence Day. His mother, however, said no. This baby was to be named Louie Glen and, after what is suspected to have been some argument, he gave in and let it be. Or so she thought.

When my grandpa was getting along in age it occurred to him that he should get a social security card. His mother was still alive and doing so while she was still here would make it a little easier. The paperwork was filled out and sent off but instead of a social security number he received a letter. It said that a baby boy had been born to the people he said are his parents on the day he said he was born. BUT his name was NOT Louie Glen. Upon further investigation he discovered that his grandfather had filled out his birth certificate more than 60 years ago and named him George Washington. All of these years he had been going by this name, raised his children (and given one the middle name of Glen) and run his business and had never known that his name wasn't really his name. Now, because of the business, he had his name legally changed to Louie Glen. My middle child is named for him and my uncle (who passed shortly before Glenn was born) and I think it a little funny that he was named for someone who wasn't really named that for most of his life.

What would you do if you discovered your name wasn't really your name? Would you change it to what you thought it was? Leave it? If you have to change it anyway would you pick something new?

WTF? And I LIVE here?!

The tourism slogan of the City of Reno has been "America's Adventure Place" since about 2002 and the marketing group thought it needed updating. The city reportedly paid a LOT of money ($100,000+) for a new idea to be put together with ad campaigns and whatnot. So what did that buy? They decided that the new slogan will be "A Little West of Center"...

Um...

The intention is to mean that we are a little west of the center of the United States. For starters, that doesn't really say anything and is hardly a tourism draw. AND it's not even correct! For those of you who are not aware of the geography of the US here's a map with Nevada outlined in red. Colorado is a little west of center and we are two states further over, not to mention that Reno is within 30 minutes of touching the western edge. We are 1/2 hour from California, that's hardly "A Little West of Center" which leaves us to wonder how they came up with this...



On the other hand, we just paid over $100,000 for this so maybe it really means something more like "Has a screw loose" or "A few bricks short of a load" or "Lost her rocks", in which case it's entirely correct. That being said, is that really what we want to tell the world? "Come here and do stupid crap because, hey, we're a little nuts so you'll blend right in"? Oy...

Luckily the mayor this morning called it embarrassing and got them to throw it out. So this means that now they'll be making sense? Well, no, not really. The rest of the campaign so far is still a go ahead. According to kolotv's story today "While board members ditched the 'West of Center' slogan, they are moving forward with the rest of the new campaign. It sells our area as "refreshingly offbeat" and uses a talking bighorn sheep to relay that message" Just to make sure you didn't miss that "uses a talking bighorn sheep to relay that message"... Uh, huh.

What is it with this area and REALLY bad slogans? The power company had, a while back, a really bad reputation. They were really hard-nosed about profit and if a customer was behind they were shutting off their power without trying to work out a payment plan or anything. They got a reputation as being uncaring. So they brought in a PR company and did up a new slogan. They made hats and pens and all kinds of junk with the new slogan plastered on it. The employees were brought in to a room for an "unveiling" and when the curtain was pulled back the new slogan said "We Delight Our Customers". Someone started to snicker. Delight? Or de-light? The curtain was closed and the slogan died. All the pens and stuff were boxed up and hidden away. Did we hire the same people to do the City of Reno slogan? I wonder.

Secret 28: This one time, at church camp...

When I was a junior we moved yet again to my third and final high school. My very last class of the day was band and as I walked into the room one of the girls already there stood up, pointed at my sister (Little-Little) and I, and said "YOU'RE THE BLANKET GIRLS!". Oh... no...

So... That past summer I went to a church camp called Camp Harlow. I'd been going to the week long summer camp every year since I was 5 and I loved it. My sisters took their turns being camp counselors, I still have my first camp t-shirt (and can *just* squeeze into it. it's very stretchy). But that last year went a wee bit differently.

I didn't know most of the girls in my cabin. On the very first day of camp two or three of them went to the bathroom and dyed their hair green. I thought it looked cool but apparently it gave our cabin a reputation and we were more or less shunned. Sad. Oh, well, we had fun anyway.

Every year the camp splits the all of the kids into 4 groups and calls them teams. Each team was supposed to earn points and at the end of the week one of them gets to brag that they "won". Near the end of the week there was to be a talent show, another way to earn points. The group leader had a great sense of humor and thought our idea was perfect. I would just like to say RIGHT HERE that our idea was run by the group leader and APPROVED. We were not renegades, and we followed the rules. AND I learned this in the first place at a church revival. Anyway...

So I get up on the stage in front of the entire camp with a microphone and a blanket and it went something like this:

"Hello! 3 of my cabin mates are outside and I'm going to bring them in one at a time. They don't know what's going to happen yet but I'll explain it to you real quick. I'm going to bring them in one at a time and have them sit them down on the stage and I'll cover them with the blanket. Then I will tell them to take off something they don't need. The idea is that they don't need the blanket and they should take the blanket off, but this could be fun."

The first girl came in and sat down. I put the blanket over her and asked her to take of something she didn't need. She passed out her shoes. I said to her, "you might need your shoes later. Take off something you don't need." She gave me socks. I said, "well, no, you might need those too. Isn't it getting hot under that blanket? Take off something you don't need." She sat there for a minute and then says "Oh!" and takes off the blanket.

The second girl comes in and sits down. She is covered with the blanket and I say "take off something you don't need". Over the next couple attempts she gave me shoes, earrings, a bracelet, and a couple other bits and then, like the first girl, took off the blanket.

"Now", I said to the crowd, "the next girl is my sister, and I love her, but she's not too bright. This should be fun." So she comes in and sits down and is covered with the blanket. I say to her "take off something you don't need". After a few minutes I've taken hair barrettes, shoes, socks, a watch, etc. "No, you don't understand. These are all things you might need. Isn't it hot under the blanket? Take off something you don't need." There's a lot of shuffling around and a few gasps from the crowd as it's obvious she's taking off her pants. As she passes them out to me I giggle and say "but you probably need these. Take off something you DON'T NEED." There's a muffled cry so I hold the microphone closer and she wails "I don't have much that I don't need!"

"Sis, there is something you don't need. Take off something you DON'T NEED. Aren't you hot under that blanket?" She starts moving around again under the blanket and passes out her shirt. At this point the camp leaders (church camp, remember?) are having a fit and demanding that the girl controlling the curtain close it. But she says "No! I want to know how this turns out!" and the show goes on. As this is happening my sister passes out the bra. And then panties.

I look out at the crowd, who is now on the edge of every seat, and say "Oh, sis... What you didn't need was the blanket." And I, very dramatically if I do say so myself, ripped the blanket off of her. As I do this every girl in the audience leans back in horror covering her mouth and says "Oh!" and every guy in the audience leans forward expectantly and says "Oh!...". And then my sister stood up, fully clothed, and took a bow. She grabbed the microphone and says "And you all thought I was naked!" and bounced off the stage. She had worn two sets of clothes in the first place. Did I forget to mention that?

Anyway, the camp leaders told my older sister Little-Big, who had previously been a counselor, that "your sisters are nothing like you" and did not invite us back the following year. And I started my last high school with a reputation right from the gate...

In pictures (mostly)

We decided to get up close and personal with the landscape today.



We stretched towards the sun and drank in the light.



We swayed along with the breezes.



And we enjoyed the pretty spots that took our breath away.



And we got to meet a lovely fellow named Bob, our new lizard friend who's only fault, near as I could tell, was that he didn't blog. Yet.

Bummer

I guess some people didn't have a good time at the Rib Cook-Off. And this was only at lunch time!

Every light in the house is gone

When I moved in I was told that the power bill for my house was often $350/month. Scary. Worse, when I called the power company to set up service they charged me a $500 deposit (equal to the largest bill the house has had). O.M.G.! So immediately upon moving in I reset all of the thermostats. Only using AC after 5:30 at night and making the default setting 78 degrees (if we're too hot we can manually turn it down and it will reset later). We've had two bills now, averaging $200, which is GREAT for the summer (tends to be my highest power usage so the bills should get cheaper). It's better, but still... So, I'm looking for more. The home already has upgraded insulation (blown into the walls) and the windows and doors have good seals. All cooking and heating is gas and the main part of our bill is electric, by a LOT, which I assume is still mostly AC as the weather has been consistently 85-90 degrees every day.

Our next step was the light bulbs. Our kids like to turn on every single light in the house and, being a newer house, the house has a lot of can lights. We counted 80 lightbulbs in the house. 80! This weekend we removed every one of them (well, except the two we can't reach) and replaced them with CFL bulbs. If the lights in the house are on an average of 4 hours a day we'd save $50/month. That's about right since some don't usually get turned on and some never get turned off. I'll settle for $30.

Next I want to look into thicker curtains, especially for the sun facing windows, to cut down on the need to cool/heat from window heat transfer.

What have you done to cut down the energy bill?

Adventure

I try to keep everything interesting. Let me just say that a canoe doesn't corner very well. Or at all really. Oh sure, I could have put it over the cab of the truck but it would scratch the paint and anyway I was only going 3 blocks with it. Are you buying that? Well, we did at least have a guy sit on it the whole way for ballast so it wouldn't move around to much... And I'm sure I brightened the day of everyone who saw us do this as I'm sure it was pretty hilarious to watch. Yes, THAT'S why I did it...