Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

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You sometimes get exactly what you ask for.

When I was really little (around 1) my 3 older sisters informed my mother in no uncertain terms that they did not want rules anymore. They were tired of all the rules and it wasn't acceptable. My mother decided that if that was what they wanted then fine. NO rules.

My sisters had a great day doing whatever they wanted without being told what to do in any fashion. That night, as they started to get hungry, they came into the kitchen to see what was for dinner. But no one was there and dinner was not being cooked. Upon searching the other rooms they found my mother watching TV and asked her what was for dinner. She said, "I don't know. What are you making?". The girls were flabbergasted. This was their MOTHER. She HAD to make them dinner! Mom pointed out to them that they didn't want any rules so there weren't any. But if there were no rules for the girls then there weren't any for mom either and she didn't have to make them dinner. They were told to fend for themselves. After 2 days my sisters agreed that perhaps a *few* rules were ok.

A birthday and a blogiversary

Today is my blogiversary and my birthday. I have been blogging for exactly a year, which I started on my 30th birthday.

1 year of blogging
31 years of life
200 posts
So many new friends



I have blogged about my kids and the crazy things they say (or the embarrassing things that I do).



I've talked a lot about growing up, my sisters, and written several posts for "Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide".



We moved and we painted. And painted and painted and painted...

There were a few scary moments with family, some turning out well and others not and one of those moments I'll even call a miracle even though I'm not really religious.

I confessed 30 secrets, a project inspired by spudballoo.



I dreamed about going to Blog Camp in Denmark but was unable to go so Julie suggested a camp here timed to match up with Blog Camp 2.0 there (a Blog Camp Reno). Some great people (Ali/McGillicutty, rxBambi, AnOpenHeart and Zena the "non-blogger") came to Reno to meet up in September and I'm still quite thrilled for the experience.



I got all crafty this year and there are a few example here, here , here and here.



I bought my first big girl camera and started a flickr 365 project (today is day 50). I'm working on my mini project of the ABCs right now. And this year when I go on the next Scott Kelby Worldwide Photo Walk I'll be prepared to play with the big kids (I hope).

So far my number one most popular post (based on hits) is the PVC pipe fort here and it still gets several hits a day from Google. And the most commented on posts are always the wordzzles.

So it's been quite a year. I have a lot of thoughts rattling around in my head recently about where I'm at in my life right now but I think that will need a whole post of it's own so I'll save that for now. Right this minute I'm going looking for a recipe for Pistachio cupcakes that I used a while back. Yummy Birthday to me!

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

Before they do the time, make SURE they did the crime.

So I mentioned in the first Rules from Mom that sometimes she had those moments where it was clear she wasn't perfect, moments where I learned what not to do. A clear point of this is the moment of the chocolate chips.

We loved chocolate chips. And we stole the bags from the pantry ALL the time. But we lived in the sticks so hiding the bags was problematic. If you put the bags in the trash then mom will surely find them and you're busted. But if you hide them anywhere in the house then you are equally screwed. So my oldest sisters, then around 10 and 11 years old, got creative. They hid the bag under the mattress of the next sister, middle-middle (who was about 5). Then if it was found, THEY weren't going to be in trouble! Brilliant, yes? Um...

Not long after this my mother was looking for something that had gone missing. It was more serious and completely unrelated to the chocolate chips so let's just say that it was 2am and she was in a VERY bad mood. And she was tossing bedrooms, ALL of them. She came to middle-middle's room and lifted the mattress and there was the chocolate chip bag. It was obvious, in a 2am haze, that of course she had done the crime and therefore must bear the punishment.

So the next day, still angry, my mother sat down middle-middle with a bowl filled with 2 pounds of chocolate chips and a trash can. If she wanted chocolate chips, she was going to get chocolate chips. And she's not getting up till it's done (hence the trash can)... It didn't come out until that very first Confession Christmas what had really happened, more than 20 years after the incident. Middle-middle still doesn't like chocolate chip cookies to this day, more than 30 years later.

Now that I have my own kids, before I punish them, I make sure that they're guilty. Circumstantial isn't enough.

Other lessons learned

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

Save the best for last.

With 6 children in the house a bag of miniature candy bars didn't last long while I was growing up. One day, maybe two day at the outside. My parents would remember they'd bought them just in time to not get any. So my mother got a little sneaky. Knowing that we didn't like the dark chocolate she would start with the others. Goodbars, Krackles, and plain Hersheys first. This way she got to enjoy candy with us and still have some left over to enjoy leisurely at the end: guaranteed untouched Special Darks. Unfortunately this doesn't work for me as my little girly loves Special Dark the best but I'll never forget the lesson to savor everything for as long as you can.



Other gems from my childhood.

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

Sometimes as a parent you'll have to elaborate on Because I said so.

As children we protested the obvious unfairness of our parents. How come they always got to make the decisions? Why don't I get a choice? I should have a choice.

My mother very calmly looked at me during one of these tirades when I was about middle school age and said "Do you see that fence?". She pointed out to the road and the fence that surrounded our property.

"Yes, I see it" I replied. "But you're not listening to me!"

"Well", she told me, "outside that fence is the United States of America. Out there it's a democracy and as soon as you move outside that fence you can make whatever decisions you want. Inside this fence is a dictatorship and I'm the dictator. As long as you live inside this fence, I make the rules!"

My mother was right (but I'll never admit I said it). As much as I always swore I'd never say it, I've learned that sometimes "because I said so" is the only answer that makes kids stop asking. Sigh...

Other lessons

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

This woman and I go way back. A little more than 30 years. This is my mother. Growing up I had some serious hero worship going on here. Not because she was perfect (she's not) but because even though she wasn't she *tried*. My parents divorced when I was 7 and I was mostly raised by mom, mostly as a single mom, so you can imagine that things were a little fly by the seat of our pants at times. But we always landed on our feet. She taught me to adapt. She taught me to stand back up. She taught me to try again and go on.

Many of the lessons my mother taught me I didn't even realize I'd learned until I had my own kids. Some of them were lessons in what not to do (that part about not being perfect, remember?). But all of them were valuable. So I will share these morsels of life with the rest of you. Every now and then I'll add a lesson or two from The Survival Guide as I learned it.

Life By Mom's Rules: A Survival Guide

Always mark the easter eggs. That way you know when the kids find one of LAST years eggs that was missed the first time around.

I was so proud of all of my eggs and I was very angry that my mother took the pretty blue one away that I found on the trailer hitch. Even though she really saved me from something bad I found it incredibly unfair.

Style is relative. Are you happy? Then that's what matters and don't let anyone tell you different. Of course, you may have to develop a thick skin to be happy. This applies to more than clothes but the lesson started there.

When in second grade I decided to dress myself. I had a plaid shirt, a pink fluffy skirt with white polka dots, snow boots, etc. I was Stylin'! So I went out to the kitchen where mom and Mackey (my mom's best friend, also known as Other Mother) were having their morning coffee. I said "How do I look?" And without missing a beat my mother replied "Fine. If you're going to a blind school." Thanks mom. Thanks for that...

Don't wake up Middle-Middle. She'll punch you in her sleep. So will Big-Big for that matter. And me too... You know what? Don't wake up any female in our family prematurely unless you are bleeding or dying... Otherwise you will be if you know what I mean. In fact, that was pretty much my mom's rule verbatim. I recall voluntarily waking my mother up twice. After being bitten by a bat in second grade and after being hit by a car in the tenth. In both cases the first words out of my mouth were "Mom, I'm bleeding..." It had to be that extreme because nobody likes to wake dragons.