Thursday, September 10, 2009

Secret 28: This one time, at church camp...

When I was a junior we moved yet again to my third and final high school. My very last class of the day was band and as I walked into the room one of the girls already there stood up, pointed at my sister (Little-Little) and I, and said "YOU'RE THE BLANKET GIRLS!". Oh... no...

So... That past summer I went to a church camp called Camp Harlow. I'd been going to the week long summer camp every year since I was 5 and I loved it. My sisters took their turns being camp counselors, I still have my first camp t-shirt (and can *just* squeeze into it. it's very stretchy). But that last year went a wee bit differently.

I didn't know most of the girls in my cabin. On the very first day of camp two or three of them went to the bathroom and dyed their hair green. I thought it looked cool but apparently it gave our cabin a reputation and we were more or less shunned. Sad. Oh, well, we had fun anyway.

Every year the camp splits the all of the kids into 4 groups and calls them teams. Each team was supposed to earn points and at the end of the week one of them gets to brag that they "won". Near the end of the week there was to be a talent show, another way to earn points. The group leader had a great sense of humor and thought our idea was perfect. I would just like to say RIGHT HERE that our idea was run by the group leader and APPROVED. We were not renegades, and we followed the rules. AND I learned this in the first place at a church revival. Anyway...

So I get up on the stage in front of the entire camp with a microphone and a blanket and it went something like this:

"Hello! 3 of my cabin mates are outside and I'm going to bring them in one at a time. They don't know what's going to happen yet but I'll explain it to you real quick. I'm going to bring them in one at a time and have them sit them down on the stage and I'll cover them with the blanket. Then I will tell them to take off something they don't need. The idea is that they don't need the blanket and they should take the blanket off, but this could be fun."

The first girl came in and sat down. I put the blanket over her and asked her to take of something she didn't need. She passed out her shoes. I said to her, "you might need your shoes later. Take off something you don't need." She gave me socks. I said, "well, no, you might need those too. Isn't it getting hot under that blanket? Take off something you don't need." She sat there for a minute and then says "Oh!" and takes off the blanket.

The second girl comes in and sits down. She is covered with the blanket and I say "take off something you don't need". Over the next couple attempts she gave me shoes, earrings, a bracelet, and a couple other bits and then, like the first girl, took off the blanket.

"Now", I said to the crowd, "the next girl is my sister, and I love her, but she's not too bright. This should be fun." So she comes in and sits down and is covered with the blanket. I say to her "take off something you don't need". After a few minutes I've taken hair barrettes, shoes, socks, a watch, etc. "No, you don't understand. These are all things you might need. Isn't it hot under the blanket? Take off something you don't need." There's a lot of shuffling around and a few gasps from the crowd as it's obvious she's taking off her pants. As she passes them out to me I giggle and say "but you probably need these. Take off something you DON'T NEED." There's a muffled cry so I hold the microphone closer and she wails "I don't have much that I don't need!"

"Sis, there is something you don't need. Take off something you DON'T NEED. Aren't you hot under that blanket?" She starts moving around again under the blanket and passes out her shirt. At this point the camp leaders (church camp, remember?) are having a fit and demanding that the girl controlling the curtain close it. But she says "No! I want to know how this turns out!" and the show goes on. As this is happening my sister passes out the bra. And then panties.

I look out at the crowd, who is now on the edge of every seat, and say "Oh, sis... What you didn't need was the blanket." And I, very dramatically if I do say so myself, ripped the blanket off of her. As I do this every girl in the audience leans back in horror covering her mouth and says "Oh!" and every guy in the audience leans forward expectantly and says "Oh!...". And then my sister stood up, fully clothed, and took a bow. She grabbed the microphone and says "And you all thought I was naked!" and bounced off the stage. She had worn two sets of clothes in the first place. Did I forget to mention that?

Anyway, the camp leaders told my older sister Little-Big, who had previously been a counselor, that "your sisters are nothing like you" and did not invite us back the following year. And I started my last high school with a reputation right from the gate...


  1. I sooooo would have WANTED that reputation! (and who needs church camp anyway, eh?) I'm giggling my ass off.....

    miss ya,

  2. that is a CLASSIC!! i love it! best secret yet, how are you going to top it?

  3. That is awesome!! you are too hilarious for words young lady!!!

  4. hysterical! I got talked into going to a church camp with a friend once. i didn't have as much fun. turns out all shorts had to be knee length...people thought i was a harlot with my short shorts and they eventually made me wear my jeans then entire week.


I love comments. It's nice to know someone is reading and I appreciate and read every one.