Friday, October 16, 2009

Wordzzle on dreams Part IV

Over at Views from the Raven's Nest, a Wordzzle challenge is posted weekly. The basic idea is to use all 10 words provided in a short paragraph (plus mini challenge words if you can). More information can be found here.

This week's words are (early morning light, Pinocchio, mist, leaves, sandy, coffee, walking, traffic, pray, stomach ) with a mini challenge of (train, art, admirable, cotton, fluffy).

This wordzzle is a continuation of my earlier story.


"How did we get here?" I've asked myself this so many times in the last few days. I thought I was never going to escape this place. I had given up praying and had resigned myself to a lifetime of just making it work and yet...

It's a surreal feeling today. We're walking in the early morning light, watching the mist rise from the freezing ground. The leaves that had been falling just a few short weeks ago are now glued with ice to the sandy sidewalks as we crunch along. My stomach is in knots. It's not because of food, I haven't been able to eat today. I did manage a little coffee this morning but I just couldn't manage a bite of actual food. I'm excited but I can't believe it's really happening.

We cross the street while the traffic waits as we head for the train. The train. Was it only a month ago I was staring longingly at it? And now I'm getting on it. I feel like I'm high, on white fluffy cotton clouds, floating along down the road.

Somehow my mother knew. She knew without me saying that I had to get away from here and she did it. She found a relative in the city for me to stay with and bought me a ticket and I'm getting out of here. She's trying not to cry as she helps me check in. She's turned being stoic into an art, trying to never show that anything gets to her. It's admirable but I can't manage it myself and I start to tear up. I hug her and kiss her cheek and tell her how much I love her and then I get onto the train. I find my seat as the train starts to pull out. As I sit looking out the window and watching the trees fly by I laugh and think, "I'm like Pinocchio. I've got no strings on me".


  1. What a lovely touching scene you've painted this week. The words just blended beautifully into this lyrical piece and you created a real feeling of atmosphere. Nice work!

  2. Beautiful. I especially love that last line. Just wonderful.

  3. "I'm like Pinocchio. I've got no strings on me".

    This is a fabulous line! I love the whole thing but that just screams F.R.E.E.D.O.M.!

  4. Welcome to wordzzle. In just a few short lines you flesh out a character well. It almost fogged my glasses. Good writing.
    Will we get further adventures when she reaches her destination?

  5. Sara, this makes me think of a friend from high school who lived in Toronto, but each fall as the weather got as above described, her parents would send her to South Texas because she suffered so terribly from depression (Season Affective Disorder). How hard that must have been for her mother to send her away!

    A nice nod to the Disney Pinocchio song! I read the real Pinocchio to my kids a few years ago and we were taken aback at how dark it is! Peter Pan as well. Not Disney-ish at all!

    Welcome aboard!

  6. You humans make so much out of your coming and going. Tears and emotion when you get on a train. Our literature has no such nonsense. But for a human this is a good story.


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