Secret 30: I am my mother

Yup. It's true. I am stubborn, willful, a smart-ass and independent (sometimes too much). Oh, I am some good things too and I get those from mom also. I think the biggest ways in which I am actually different from her are really more about the decades in which we were raised than who we actually are.

My ex once told me that, despite the cliche, he had never met ANYONE who was so like their mother as I am. At the time he meant that as a good thing so I think it still is... I choose to take it as a compliment anyway... When I was in elementary school we were asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I said "My mother".

I even look like her a lot. Growing up I used to stare at this picture I had of mom in a wedding dress when she was very young (high school age) and I would cover up her hair and be amazed how much that picture looked like me.

It wasn't always a good thing though, being like mom. Sometimes the most similar people are the ones who get along the least... When I was in high school we would get into some epic screaming fights (a few times on the front lawn so the neighbors could have a show) and she would threaten that "You're going to live with your father!" at which point she would tell my younger sister to pack my stuff. But, it never actually happened, and things would calm down again (until next time).

Remember that story about getting suspended? Well, I learned that attitude from her. And learning to be a smart-ass, well, don't forget that she's the one who had me arrested. And the things that used to come out of her mouth while she was in uniform...

Once she pulled a woman over for speeding and the woman would not SHUT UP. The lady kept going on and on and ON that "I wasn't going that fast and you're only pulling me over because you have to fill your quota". Mom patiently explained that they didn't have quotas and "could I have your license please?" And the lady would go on "It's not fair! You're just trying to fill your quota!" and finally my mother said "You're right! If I write three more tickets I get a toaster oven!". Well, of course this went to traffic court later, and the woman told the judge "And she said that if she wrote three more tickets she got a microwave!" The judge looked at mom and said "Officer, did you say that to this woman?" to which my mother replied "No, Sir. I said I was getting a toaster oven!"

My mother also told me that respect was not a right given, it was a privilege earned. She once pulled over an actress who was in town filming. The actress said "Do you KNOW who I AM?" and mom, looking at her license, said "Well it says here you're Xxxx Xxxx". And then she gave her the ticket. (I'm not using the name because I'm not sure that officers are really supposed to talk about cases outside of court and I wouldn't want anyone to get sued.)

Thanks to mom I am a strange breed of hippy/redneck/yuppy, blue/white collar, do-it-myself female. And so concludes the 30 Secrets.



This photo was taken by a family member, probably my dad or my sister Litte-Big, but I'm not sure which.

Secret 29: I'm stubborn in the extreme sometimes

Okay, so stubborn is a little obvious and there's more to it than that. How have I never mentioned this story? I was sure that I had and yet here we are and no scouring of my blog has turned up a mention of it... Strange.

Here's another high school memory. I was in the 10th grade, making me about 16 at the time. It was early in the morning, before school had started up, and I was sitting in a hallway with friends. I had taken my shoes off (because I seriously hate to wear shoes if I can avoid it) and one of the guys, Woody, wanted to be funny and took my shoes. He made me chase him to get them back and I was furious. I had to run through wet grass in my socks and I wouldn't have time to change them so I was going to have wet feet all day. AND he wouldn't apologize.

So I took his glasses.

Yes, perhaps a childish thing to do (I was only 16) but I did it nonetheless. I told him that I would give him back his glasses when I received an apology. And then the bell rang and I went to class.

Shockingly, I was called out of class to the principals office. He asked if I had the glasses with me to which I pointed out that the glasses would be returned, as I had already promised, when I received an apology. Rather than reply to that he asked if they were in my backpack to which I pointed out that he did not have the legal right to touch my backpack without a police officer present and hands off. He threatened to call my mother and I told him to go ahead. So he did. My mother arrived and he told her that I had stolen some kid's glasses. I told her the rest of the story that he left out. So she asked, in clarification, if the basic story was that he took my shoes and got my socks all wet and refused to apologize so I took the glasses and said I would give them back when I got an apology? I agreed that this was the case. She looked at the principal and asked if Woody had apologized yet? The principal sputtered a little and disagreed that it was necessary. Mom said that she saw a very simple solution here where Woody would apologize and I would give him his glasses. Needless to say, I got the apology and he got his glasses. And I went back to class.

Sitting in second period, Biology, I was distracted. This whole thing had kind of pissed me off and I felt it was rather unfair. I hadn't really been asking for much. While I was sitting there and feeling somewhat sorry for myself I was playing around with a paper clip, twisting it into various shapes. Eventually it ended up being wrapped around the metal piece at the top of my pencil that holds the eraser, with the two ends sticking forward. I looked at this, and then at the plug that sits on top of the desks in the science rooms and thought "I wonder what would happen? Does electricity move through wood?". And without really thinking much more about it I stuck the thing into the socket. I had half expected the light show but what I hadn't anticipated was the loud bang. The teacher was a bit upset but, well, she overreacted I thought... I went and sat in the principals office again.

And then I went to my third period class, P.E. (Physical Education). Man, I hated that class. So we were sent outside to run a mile (4 laps around the track) like we did everyday. Now having had a REALLY bad morning so far I just wasn't into it and was already a little tired. So I walked the mile. Well, I started to, until one of the teachers came over to yell at me during the third lap. By this point I'd had enough yelling for the day and didn't listen to her. She followed me and kept screaming. So I decided "screw this" and walked inside and picked up a badminton racket to start the next activity. She came in too and now started yelling at me that the TA (teacher's assistant, a senior) had told her how I was mouthing off and said I was going to "kick her ass". Um, what!?! I had never, and I mean NEVER, said anything even remotely like that about any teacher, much less to a TA. But she wouldn't listen. So I decided to ask the TA why he would say something like that? What on earth had I done to piss him off? At this point the other teacher, a very large man, who I think was also the football coach, got involved. For no reason that I could discern he refused to let me question the TA and also started to yell at me. At which point I threw the badminton racket on the floor and told him, in no uncertain terms, exactly what he could do with it. Then I turned around and walked to the principals office (cause why not? I'd already been there twice today and I think we were starting to become friends...).

After I explained what had happened the principal said that I had no right to say or do what I had. That I should respect the teacher for no other reason than he was my teacher. Period. I told him that my mother had taught me that "respect is not a right given, it's a privilege earned" and I was under no obligation whatsoever to show respect to someone who was incapable of respecting me. My mother was called again. Around then the teacher came in and I had calmed down a little. I said, very calmly, that I was ready to discuss this as an adult. His response? He said that there was nothing to discuss, he was right, and that's it, no discussion. And he walked out of the principals office and slammed the door. I just looked at the principal like, see what I mean? My mother then arrived and told the principal that, while she didn't necessarily agree with what I had said, she would defend to the ground my right to say it. I loved her for that. She was the only person who had been on my side all day, really. It goes without saying that I was suspended at that point for a few days. When I came back I was put into the "other" P.E. class which was actually the same one only the female teacher was officially my teacher instead of the guy (the classes were combined so it didn't really change anything). The old teacher flunked me and the new one gave me a C so I got a D in the class, the only D I ever received.

Now I've grown up and had the chance for a little perspective, I suppose. I'm still not sorry I took the glasses. I'm a *little* sorry about the fireworks, though it was actually (mostly) an accident. I'm not even that tiny bit sorry about what I said to the teacher, though. He was an ass and if it had been a job I would have quit. If I saw him today, I think I might say it again just for spite. Okay, so maybe some things never change.

Secret 28: This one time, at church camp...

When I was a junior we moved yet again to my third and final high school. My very last class of the day was band and as I walked into the room one of the girls already there stood up, pointed at my sister (Little-Little) and I, and said "YOU'RE THE BLANKET GIRLS!". Oh... no...

So... That past summer I went to a church camp called Camp Harlow. I'd been going to the week long summer camp every year since I was 5 and I loved it. My sisters took their turns being camp counselors, I still have my first camp t-shirt (and can *just* squeeze into it. it's very stretchy). But that last year went a wee bit differently.

I didn't know most of the girls in my cabin. On the very first day of camp two or three of them went to the bathroom and dyed their hair green. I thought it looked cool but apparently it gave our cabin a reputation and we were more or less shunned. Sad. Oh, well, we had fun anyway.

Every year the camp splits the all of the kids into 4 groups and calls them teams. Each team was supposed to earn points and at the end of the week one of them gets to brag that they "won". Near the end of the week there was to be a talent show, another way to earn points. The group leader had a great sense of humor and thought our idea was perfect. I would just like to say RIGHT HERE that our idea was run by the group leader and APPROVED. We were not renegades, and we followed the rules. AND I learned this in the first place at a church revival. Anyway...

So I get up on the stage in front of the entire camp with a microphone and a blanket and it went something like this:

"Hello! 3 of my cabin mates are outside and I'm going to bring them in one at a time. They don't know what's going to happen yet but I'll explain it to you real quick. I'm going to bring them in one at a time and have them sit them down on the stage and I'll cover them with the blanket. Then I will tell them to take off something they don't need. The idea is that they don't need the blanket and they should take the blanket off, but this could be fun."

The first girl came in and sat down. I put the blanket over her and asked her to take of something she didn't need. She passed out her shoes. I said to her, "you might need your shoes later. Take off something you don't need." She gave me socks. I said, "well, no, you might need those too. Isn't it getting hot under that blanket? Take off something you don't need." She sat there for a minute and then says "Oh!" and takes off the blanket.

The second girl comes in and sits down. She is covered with the blanket and I say "take off something you don't need". Over the next couple attempts she gave me shoes, earrings, a bracelet, and a couple other bits and then, like the first girl, took off the blanket.

"Now", I said to the crowd, "the next girl is my sister, and I love her, but she's not too bright. This should be fun." So she comes in and sits down and is covered with the blanket. I say to her "take off something you don't need". After a few minutes I've taken hair barrettes, shoes, socks, a watch, etc. "No, you don't understand. These are all things you might need. Isn't it hot under the blanket? Take off something you don't need." There's a lot of shuffling around and a few gasps from the crowd as it's obvious she's taking off her pants. As she passes them out to me I giggle and say "but you probably need these. Take off something you DON'T NEED." There's a muffled cry so I hold the microphone closer and she wails "I don't have much that I don't need!"

"Sis, there is something you don't need. Take off something you DON'T NEED. Aren't you hot under that blanket?" She starts moving around again under the blanket and passes out her shirt. At this point the camp leaders (church camp, remember?) are having a fit and demanding that the girl controlling the curtain close it. But she says "No! I want to know how this turns out!" and the show goes on. As this is happening my sister passes out the bra. And then panties.

I look out at the crowd, who is now on the edge of every seat, and say "Oh, sis... What you didn't need was the blanket." And I, very dramatically if I do say so myself, ripped the blanket off of her. As I do this every girl in the audience leans back in horror covering her mouth and says "Oh!" and every guy in the audience leans forward expectantly and says "Oh!...". And then my sister stood up, fully clothed, and took a bow. She grabbed the microphone and says "And you all thought I was naked!" and bounced off the stage. She had worn two sets of clothes in the first place. Did I forget to mention that?

Anyway, the camp leaders told my older sister Little-Big, who had previously been a counselor, that "your sisters are nothing like you" and did not invite us back the following year. And I started my last high school with a reputation right from the gate...

Secret 27: Coins are my stones

I collect coins. I have more than 30 countries but I don't know exactly how many. I have them from countries I've been to, places friends have been to, and coins I bought out of the register at work when people accidentally paid with them. They are my stone collection. My oldest coin is from 1822 but it's so worn down I can't be sure what country it's from exactly, though it appears European.



We couldn't get to Denmark Blog Camp so we brought Denmark to us. Though julochka tells me that these coins are worth so little now they won't even open the pay toilets anymore.

Secret 26: An S on my chest?

While I was pregnant with Erin I was a waitress in a casino. I dreamed of having a Monday to Friday job with holidays and weekends off. So when the opportunity came up to be an administrative assistant I jumped for it. But here's where it got tricky... When I started I was 6 months pregnant but it wasn't obvious (I'm tall so the baby doesn't stick out as far). I was being hired to replace a girl who was leaving after the birth of her own baby, due 6 days before me. I did not tell them I was pregnant because, having already had two children, I knew I bounce back quickly and I just wouldn't take time off.

My obstetrician was still fairly green, having only completed his residency recently. This made him much easier to push around. When I first told him that I wasn't going to take time off he tried to insist that I take 2 months. Um, no... Three kids and a mortgage means I can't. At a later appt he asked me to take 1 month. No. Then 2 weeks, etc. Can you tell I was wearing him down?

At 8 months along I told my bosses about it. I had to as I was finally beginning to look obviously pregnant and the sweater wasn't going to cut it anymore. They were LIVID. The manager asked why I didn't tell them in the interview (Legally I didn't have to and I wanted the job?) and I pointed out to them that it wasn't relevant since I won't be taking time off. The office manager (a mother of two) sputtered a little and said that you can never know what will happen. I had already had two kids. I knew that my pregnancies are easy (not even morning sick. sorry.) and this would be no differnet. They were angry but they didn't fire me.

At my last doctor appointment, a week before my due date, my doc asked me to AT LEAST take a week. Well, my bosses were angry and that just wasn't going to happen. I pointed out that if he induced me on a Wednesday then I would take Thursday and Friday off and he'd have the weekend. It's almost a week. He looked at the calendar, said "Today is wednesday. How about today?" and I went in to have a baby. I took a grand total of 5 days off.

When I went back to work my boss said I must have an S on my chest. His wife later told me that they didn't even believe I would come back until I did. But after that I got a lot of respect around the office. Go figure, since I was just doing what I needed to be done. The one time that I wasn't trying to impress my boss at all, I did.

Secret 25: I was at Mt Saint Helens

In 1980, when Mt. Saint Helens erupted, I was there. And I was almost too close.

My parents were scenic photographers (one still is) and they were taking pictures of the smoke. I was there with my parents and siblings. I was just over a year old and my little sister was 8 days old. At the time we had one of those pop-up trailers, the ones you could tow behind a car, and it had no real heating in it. Because my little sis was just a wee thing my mother decided we should go to a hotel for the night so everyone would be warm enough.

In the morning, at about 8:30, the volcano erupted with a massive earthquake (5.1) and caved in part of the mountain and caused volcanic mud flows. Ash flew hundreds of miles and covered everything. And the campsite that we had been staying at was gone.

My sister says I owe her my life. Guess I do.

The photo is from here.

Secret 24: Not the iPod OR Zune

I don't like iPods. It's not so much the iPod itself that's the problem but iTunes. I hate the idea of having to install special software to make it work. The Zune comes with user agreements that are too invasive (it is after all Microsoft so it's not a surprise really). However, I ♥ my Creative Zen. It's the size of a credit card and is all flash memory. The menus are really simple to use and can integrate with your winamp playlists. And it's a drag and drop file structure. I connect via usb and drop my files on there and it doesn't have to convert my songs to special formats. There is software that makes it easier to work with on your computer but you don't have to install it (say at work where there are restrictions on what you can install). I try to spread the word because I don't think the Creative Zen gets enough attention and when you say Zen people often think you meant Zune (did Microsoft do that on purpose?).

Now they have announced the Zii Egg. It supports HD video in addition to all the cool new features (and will interface with your HD TV). I cannot wait for this to come out!

See more info here and here!

Secret 23: Nothing broken

I've never, not once, broken a bone. Of course, now that I've said that I will immediately fall down a set of stairs, I'm sure. I did crack a rib once. I was in the third grade and I had just started at a new elementary school. There was a very tall set of monkey bars (taller than the teachers and probably 6 or 7 feet up). Our playground was entirely concrete, ALL of it (this was before mom's everywhere started complaining because kids could get hurt ~ like that would actually happen... wait...). To make things safe for the kids there was about 2 or 3 inches of sawdust on top of the concrete but who are we kidding?

So, being the incredibly intelligent children that we were the girls had a contest. Standing at the far end of the monkey bars, you jump and grab on to the furthest rung you can reach (as opposed to just grabbing the first bar and off you go). I had the record. I could jump to the fifth bar before grabbing on and, having the record, I was the ruler of the playground for a little while.

Then a new girl started at our school. She played our game and also grabbed the fifth rung. Well... I couldn't just be tied, could I? And anyway, who did she think she was? (These were my very logical thoughts.) So I tried for the sixth bar. And missed. I fell from roughly 6 feet, at speed, onto concrete. As previously mentioned, 2 inches of sawdust means zip now. I completely knocked the wind out and couldn't breathe. One little girl went into hysterics screaming "SHE'S DEEAAAAD!" and almost hyperventilated. Duty teachers from all over the playground ran madly for me as soon as the 1/2 dozen or so screaming girls registered in their ears. It was all very dramatic.

** The image is from here

Secret 22: String bean

I lived in high water pants as a child. It seemed that I grew so fast that as soon as pants were purchased they were already an inch too short and then got worse. As I finished the 4th grade I wore a size 4 shoe. I owned a pair of high heels (for play only) and they were yellow and SO cool but it wasn't meant to be as I soon couldn't put them on any more. As I started the 5th grade (only 3 short months later) I wore a size 9. I added 5 shoe sizes in 3 months. You can imagine what that did to the fit of all of my clothes as the rest of me was sprouting along as well. I spent most of that summer in a fetal position as my bones were growing faster than my muscles and skin could keep up. The doctor said it was just 'growing pains' and all we could do was wait it out (I can still remember the feeling. *shudder*). I hit 5'8" in the 5th grade and outgrew my mother and every single kid in my class. I was taller than everyone and kind of felt like a freak. In the 9th grade the school nurse measured my height at 6 feet tall. I started saying that I was 5'12" because 6 feet tall sounded like an amazon and 5 foot 12 inches is just really tall... Yes, it's technically the same thing but how you say it makes a difference, trust me. Now as an adult I'm only 5'10". The doctor explained to me that my vertebrae probably compacted a little during my pregnancies. My 3 beautiful children took 2 inches off of me. I'll consider myself lucky that my feet didn't get bigger which I've heard can happen.

Luckily, the same year that I hit 6 feet tall and right before I moved, my teacher Mr. Earl Lau pulled me aside. To give you some background, he was the social studies teacher and the wrestling coach for the junior and senior highs (remember, it was a very little school). Every day he started his classes with stories about places he went hunting or how he got heat stroke at the bottom of some valley and couldn't climb out and almost died. His quote in the yearbook was "When I was rafting down the Rogue river..." It was incredibly fascinating and we all tried to be on time to class so we wouldn't miss a word (which I think was his plan as once we were all there he could then teach to a rapt crowd). He was a very admired teacher in the school. And he pulled me aside and told me to stop slouching (and here I thought maybe no one would notice). He said to stand up straight and be proud of my height. Yes, right now I was teased, but that would end. One day I would find that the guys were just intimidated by height and it could be my asset. But in order for that to happen I had to start standing up now and be proud of it. He told me a lot of other things during that conversation that I'll never forget and will be forever indebted to him for. After that conversation I never again slouched. I stopped feeling like a freak, and "string bean" became a compliment. And I owe it to him.

Secret 21: What I believe

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

This is from a book by Marianne Williamson and was used in Nelson Mandela's inauguration speech. I have not read the book but this quote makes me curious.



I apologize in advance that this post is a little heavy. :) This secret is still a bit of a secret even to me. I'm still sorting this out.

I'm not a religious person. Normally I classify myself as an atheist with agnostic leanings but that's not really acurate either. Perhaps pantheist is closer. According to wikipedia it's philosophically indistinguishable from atheist but I see a difference. To me atheist means that everything happened on its own and there is no greater meaning. There isn't really anything bigger than exactly what you can see. Pantheist implies that there is something to the natural order of the world. It's not a god, exactly, at least not a God (capital G). Everything we see is a part of "god", including us, and there's more meaning in everything than perhaps we are capable of understanding.

Specifically I believe in a greater power, but not one that fiddles with all of the details. I don't believe that if something could create this world that it would be created messy and done wrong. I don't believe that any one people would be valued over another as we are all a part of it. I believe that it is within us.

One of the things that tells me that my beliefs are right for me is standing on the edge of an ocean. Standing there, looking out at the might and beauty, always made me sad. It's so vast and so beautiful and I was not a part of it. Even were I to jump in to the ocean and let the water cover my head, while I would be in it, I would not be a part of it. But lately (in the last 10 years or so) that has changed. Now I stand at the ocean and look out and I am filled with joy. I am a part of what's out there. I believe we all are. This world that surrounds us is absolutely amazing and while I call it nature myself, I understand calling it all god.

Am I a pantheist? I'm not sure just yet. Does this mean I will try to "convert" you or try to say that my belief is correct for everyone? No, most certainly not. My beliefs are for me. What beliefs are right for you is a decision that you yourself have to make and I'm certainly not going to hold myself out to be an expert on anything. I am curious, though, where religion takes you. You don't have to answer, obviously, but if you feel comfortable I would like to know what you believe.

Secret 20: Overprotective mom... Sorta...

I come from a large family and I noticed once that any time we seem to seperate one from the group a comment will come up about the one thing that bugs us. I saw this happen for each of my sisters so I asked once "Okay, what is it that you say when I go away?" I wanted to know what the pet peeve was with me (because let's face it, there is something in ALL of us that bugs somebody). The answer I got was that I'm too overprotective of my kids.

I kind of get it. There are lots of things that I did as a child that I won't let my kids do yet. Like play in the front yard when I'm not there. I did that (living on a busy street) in the 2nd grade and I won't let my second grader do that. I used to walk to a friends house to play that was a long way away (a mile?) and I don't want him walking anywhere by himself. Part of it is that I don't think he has the sense yet to stay out of the street (I didn't either) and part of it is that you never know who's out there. When will I let him? I don't know yet.

On the other hand, I think in some ways maybe I don't protect them enough. Someone says to me "your son is sniffling a lot, maybe he's sick" and I think "he just has a runny nose, he'll be fine". Okay, maybe it's a cold, but he's not complaining or unhappy so is it a big deal? My mother only took us to a doctor if we really needed it (we didn't have a lot of money for doctors then) and I try not to overreact and take them in for every little thing. So what about a cough? Last week my daughter was overly tired and she had a minor cough. She wasn't having any trouble breathing and other than sleeping an extra hour most nights she was acting normally. I decided to take her to the doctor (still thinking that I was overreacting) and it turned out that she had a little pneumonia and a type of mono. But she was happy and breathing fine. If I hadn't taken her in would it have gone away? Probably, but it would have taken longer to correct itself.

So, am I overprotective? Yes, definately. Would I change it? I'm thinking no.

** And don't worry. Thanks to steroids and antibiotics little miss has already stopped the cough she had and according to her doctor she should be completely her old self within the week.

Secret 19: The Sportsmanship Award

The elementary school I went to included 6th grade and the junior high was only for 7th and 8th graders. We were classified as a 2A (small) school and I was in a class of roughly 25 kids. As in, there were 25 6th graders TOTAL, in the whole school, and there was only 1 school in the district. The elementary, junior and high schools were on the same campus and served by a grand total of 4 school busses for 6 towns (including the town of Nimrod. Giggle).

The 2A softball rules said that if a team has more than 3 6th graders that it is considered a middle school team. Having 6 of them on our team we had to choose: Either we cut 3 girls from the team or we play against the middle schools. So, we played against the middle schools... With 4th, 5th and 6th grade girls we played against 6th, 7th and 8th. And four of our 4th graders were very small for their age (1st or 2nd grade size, really. There must have been something in the water that year). So, needless to say, we lost a lot. In fact, we only won one game. By forfeit of the other team.

The parents wanted to teach us to encourage each other so every time one of us cheered on a teammate (saying "Good Job" or whatnot) they put our name in a ziploc bag for that inning. At the end of the game one name was drawn from each inning to win a candy bar. We knew we couldn't really win but we cheered each other on a lot anyway. At the end of the year we did win one thing: the Sportsmanship Award. It was a unanimous vote by every team in the league.

After I graduated high school I was talking to someone about sports and I told them that I was on a 2A team that never won and do you know what she said? "Well, you at least beat XXXX didn't you?" to which I replied "I was XXXX...".

Secret 18: I was potty-trained by happy meals

I am the same age as the Happy Meal, introduced the year I was born. When I was little my parents were photographers and we traveled a LOT. This of course meant we spent quite a bit of time driving down highways and freeways. My mother is far sighted and she says that I could still spot those golden arches before she did. As soon as I did spot them I would conviently "have to go", even if I just went 3 miles ago at the last exit. At a young potty training age it was a very good incentive to go if I thought I could also get some chicken nuggets at the same time. Of course, this was also when the happy meal toy could stand up to time and use. Some of the toys lasted so long that I passed them on to my own children a couple decades later.

Secret 17: I brought them together

So, my sophomore year of high school I dated a guy named Brian. My junior year I started seeing John. They were in seperate cities (that whole moving thing in secret 16?) and didn't know anyone in common aside from me. And yet they became friends. At first it kinda freaked me out since they ganged up on me a lot but I also thought it was kind of cool that they could get along so well seeing as Brian was a friend that was going to be around for a long time (still is, in fact).

A little over a year ago my husband and I divorced. He and Boyfriend have hit it off as friends... Hmmm... I'm seeing a pattern here.

Last weekend I went to Oregon and I saw both Brian and John. They're still close friends roughly 13 years later. And I'm now wondering what it is that brings these men together? It's been suggested that it's the "common trauma" of having known me, almost like the bond from serving in a war together... Can I really be THAT bad? No, it must be something else. Like pie, maybe. Everybody loves pie.

Secret 16: Always something new

That's me with the buddha belly on the left.

I have not lived in any home for more than 5 years since I was 7. Including being home schooled for kindergarten I went to 6 elementary schools (K-6th), one junior high, and 3 high schools. That's 10 schools in 6 cities and I wasn't even a military brat. During that time I spent 4 1/2 years at one home (3 schools though, since I moved from elementary to high school in this time). The shortest time spent in any of those places was about 6 months.

During my senior year of high school I lived in 2 different houses and as I moved out my parents moved to yet another house. I moved in with my now-ex and we lived in that home for 5 years and moved to Reno. I lived in that house for 5 years and then moved 4 times in the last year and a half. Seriously, I hope I'm done now!

The upshot to this is that I'm really close to my little sister (who had to make all of those childhood moves with me and had 9 schools herself) and I figured out how to make friends fast. The bad side is that I'm addicted to change and have "gypsy feet". If I'm not moving then I'm painting or rearranging the furniture. I don't like things to be completely unchanging for long periods of time and will look for ways to make something different. On the bright side, it's never boring!

Secret 15: It's not MY spit in your food, it's YOURS

I love pudding, especially Tapioca. Some people have told me that it looks like fish eggs in the pudding and they wouldn't touch it (so in elementary school I got extra helpings because I helped by pointing this out). Pistachio pudding is also quite awesome. It's green and fun and it has nuts in it. Very festive. It's another that many people also don't seem to like, for which I am grateful!

Bread pudding however... Not gonna happen. I KNOW where that's been and it's not good. I used to work for a buffet place in Oregon. Most of what they serve I am totally happy with and I personally love to eat there. But I know that as the cinnamon rolls get hard on the buffet they are replaced with fresh gooey ones. The old ones, those that have probably been handled by small children with questionable hygiene and then PUT BACK because they want a different roll, are put in plastic tubs and kept. Yeah, the old rolls are re-used. At the end of the night other ingredients are added to soften them back up and add taste and then the whole thing is made into bread pudding. Now, in theory, if a child were to have touched the rolls (and trust me, they did.) then the oven should kill anything extra that made it in to the mix. But I'm still not going anywhere near it.

**The image is from here and to be fair, it's okay if you made the rolls and the bread pudding because you know where it came from and where it's been since then. This particular pudding looks delicious. It's simply that by association, um, no.

Secret 14: I'm not glamorous

Okay that's probably not a HUGE secret but there's more. I'm quite content with $5 KEDS knock-offs and only bought a pair of skechers because people at work teased me too much and anyway the more expensive shoes fall apart just as quickly for me. I do have one nice pair of sandals and I love them very much but they are an exception. I wear makeup only for special occasions or if I'm having a bad day so that I may feel better. My hair is very straight all by itself so sometimes I run my hands through and don't comb it. I wear skirts a lot but only bother with nylons if the temperature nears freezing. The most I've ever spent on shoes is $35, jeans $40, and I think them both expensive. Oh yes, and my couch always has cat hair because I own 3 long-haired kitties and haven't found a magic cleaning trick for that just yet.

Secret 13: Wrong finger

I played softball when I was younger (middle school age) and learned how to pitch a softball with a grip like the picture above. This grip became so natural to me that when I went bowling I automatically used the middle and index fingers (not the ring finger) to hold the ball. Now, many years later, I still hold a bowling ball this way. Many people have tried to correct me and I myself have tried to stop doing it but the "correct" way kind of hurts my wrist and I bowl a really bad game. Which is not to say that I am otherwise good at bowling (top score ever was 145) but if I use the traditional fingers it's extra bad. So I chalk it up to a personal quirk and leave it at that.

**Update: I had to fix this post because I, being a wee bit tired, said I used the middle and ring (which is correct) when I actually use the middle and index. Oops. So all is fixed (though Lee is probably still correct in calling me a freak).

Secret 12: If it started in water, let it stay there

Seafood is NOT a part of my diet. In fact, it's safe to say that anything that started life in the water can stay there as far as I'm concerned. I have voluntarily eaten a fish once in my life and that was only because I was in Denmark staying with a host family and we had been warned to eat whatever they served us so that we wouldn't come across as rude. I ate it (and didn't even visibly gag) but it wasn't easy. I am quite content getting my omega 3 from the green beans and walnuts that I regularly consume.

When I was in high school I worked in a seafood restaurant. It's the perfect solution to not gain weight and work in a restaurant at the same time: just don't like the food there! I did suffer through the tastings because we served a wide variety of fish and new stuff came off the boats everyday. We had to be able to tell the customers that we had tried it and "Mmmm, you should too!" and describe it to them.

One of our biggest sellers was fried calamari. If anyone asked what it was we would explain that it was tubes and tentacles. Of course, being young and still not much past the age of finding fart jokes to be the funniest thing we'd ever heard we didn't call it that amongst ourselves. No, we called it tubes and, um, testic... Well, I won't finish that because who knows what kind of internet search would find me then and anyhow I think you know what I mean, yes? So one day a group of guys comes into the place. They were roughly college age and they were HOT. When they asked what it was I was so hormonally distracted looking at the buffet of eye candy that I completely forgot myself and just blurted it out. They looked SHOCKED. And then they started laughing as my face reached new levels of red and they said "Well! You're tip just went up 5 bucks!" I could have gone straight through the floor... (And I found yet another reason to dislike seafood).

Photo from here.

Secret 11: Clean bathrooms

So, first off, my 30 Secrets in 30 Days now needs an *. Due to family stuff last week I am a little off track. So I'll say that it IS technically in 30 days just not 30 contiguous days but from now on it will be 30 Secrets in 30* Days. Can I get away with that?

Secret 11 ~ I HATE water stains in bathrooms. However, I had never been able to get rid of them without hours upon hours of scrubbing. I have literally cleaned a shower door in 4-inch squares over a month's time because I can get that obsessed. Sad, isn't it?

The house we own now is about a year old. When we moved in the shower door looked like this:



And I tried ALL of these products. I also tried SOS pads and Tylex Bathroom Cleaner among other things. NONE of them worked. At all. I was so disappointed as I usually can clean anything with CLR (I have not had to scrub a bathtub or stovetop in 10 years thanks to that stuff. Just spray on, wait 5 minutes, and wipe off).



But then Eric introduced me to this stuff. Orange Goop. Originally intended as a hand cleaner and available in auto parts stores for removing oil and whatnot from your hands. And it WORKS!



This took about 45 minutes (and Eric's elbow grease ~ Thank you!) to clear up the shower. It does take some elbow grease but when all else fails this stuff is there for you!